Week 6

May I share with you a formula that in my judgment will help you and help me to journey well through mortality and to that great reward of exaltation in the celestial kingdom of our Heavenly Father.

First, fill your mind with truth; second, fill your life with service; and third, fill your heart with love.

Let’s talk about each one of the parts of the formula and see if each does not find lodgment within the human heart. First, fill your mind with truth. I’d like to suggest that when we search for truth, we search among those books and in those places where truth is most likely to be found. I’ve often referred to a simple couplet: “You do not find truth groveling through error. You find truth by searching the holy word of God.”

The second part of the formula is: Fill your life with service. From the Book of Mormon we learn, “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17). Missionaries particularly have a wonderful opportunity to give of their full time in sharing with all the world that commodity of such priceless value—a testimony of the gospel.

Missionaries should go forward knowing that they are in the service of God, that they are going to share that most precious commodity—their testimonies. Remember, a testimony is perishable. That which you selfishly keep, you lose; that which you willingly share, you keep. All of us benefit when we remember to magnify our callings

Our third part of the formula is: Fill your heart with love.

When I think of love, I think of Abraham Lincoln, one of the outstanding presidents of the United States. He was also one of the nation’s greatest writers and orators. I have seldom read words that better characterize the love that a man can have for others than the love he described as he penned a letter to a mother who had lost all her sons in the Civil War. It is known as the Lydia Bixby Letter. Note carefully the words of Abraham Lincoln and see if you don’t feel within your heart the love that filled his:

Dear Madam:

I have just been shown, in the files of the War Department, a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who died gloriously on the field of battle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming, but I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the republic they died to save.

I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,

A.      Lincoln

In our sacrament meetings we frequently sing the hymn:

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,

Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.

I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,

That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died. …

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!

Such mercy, such love, and devotion can I forget?

No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,

Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.

(Hymns, 1985, no. 193)

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness (A Cautionary Tale) Action Foundation for entrepreneurial excellence

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are

endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these

are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Declaration of Independence

Somewhere deep down you already know this. You remember meeting that rare person who seems driven by a deeper mission, who moves calmly and faithfully as of guided by an inner compass and fueled by passion. If only you could find such a mission.

This note is designed to help you rise above your instincts and urges you to begin a search for the life you were meant to live. Once you have abandoned a foolish quest for the ephemeral rewards of happiness, wealth and power, you can begin to look for your true calling on this earth—a Hero’s Journey. To do this, you must first learn to lose yourself. Unbundling this paradox will require you to accomplish three tasks.

Task one: understanding the difference between happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment

1.        The old saying that “money will not buy you happiness” turns out to be supported by all of our latest scientific research. You likely are as happy today as you ever will be. More money, power or sex will have little, if any, effect on your long-term happiness, satisfaction or fulfillment.

2.       Despite all of your daily worries, you likely will end your life quite satisfied, though not necessarily fulfilled.

3.        The greatest threat to you leading a fulfilling life is a misguided pursuit of happiness that blinds you to the possibility of a more meaningful Hero’s Journey.

The secret to happiness: you are already quite happy So what is the secret to happiness?

The secret is that most of us are already quite happy.

·         Live in a free country that minimizes life-threatening poverty.

o   While the effects of material wealth are limited, extreme poverty does breed unhappiness.

·         The workplace you choose matters.

o   People who have less control in their jobs are less happy. Pointless work will make you unhappy, as will a lack of variety or stress caused by your boss.

·         Where you live matters too

o   While the joy of a larger house and yard in the suburbs will diminish, the unhappiness that comes from a long-term commute will stay with you and grow worse. You also will be unable to adjust to loud and uncontrollable noises near your home, like those from an airport or a highway.

·         Some events that bring unhappiness will be out of your control.

o   You will adjust slowly, if ever, to a long-term debilitating illness, caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or the death of a spouse or child in a car wreck.

From Happiness to Satisfaction

Not only are you likely to be happy and remain happy, but you also are likely to be satisfied with your life, particularly as you grow older.

You likely will go through a series of life stages:

• From Identity, understanding who you are, to

• Intimacy, learning to live with others in a deep relationship, to

• Career Consolidation, learning to use your talents in the world, to

• Generativity, learning to unselfishly give to the next generation, to

• Meaning, understanding ageless wisdom and virtue, to

• Integrity, having a spiritual sense of how you are connected to the transcendent.

How the pursuit of happiness will keep you from finding fulfillment

What is it about our nature that distracts us from a noble quest to find meaning and significance and converts it to a meaningless, addictive and ultimately hollow grab for money, power and pleasure?

Three mistakes consistently distract and mislead us:

• We pursue sensual pleasures and material success for the wrong reasons.

• We misjudge how near-term events will affect our long-term happiness.

 We all too often allow our addictive natures and lack of perspective to transform healthy self-interest into a corrosive self-centeredness. We seem to confuse enjoyment, a transitory experience, with the deeper and more complex experience of satisfaction. Satisfaction requires looking past ephemeral joy to trends in our levels of happiness. Measuring satisfaction requires weighing and balancing the good with the bad in life and getting some sense of your general level of contentment.

Fulfillment turns out to be quite different than either pleasure or satisfaction. It involves having the perspective, usually in later years, of having done well with the opportunities you have been given. That’s why beginning with the end in mind, and talking with those you respect who are nearer to the end of their journey, is so important.

A twisted sense of perspective: misjudging the present’s impact on the future

Our tendency to pursue pleasure instead of satisfaction and fulfillment is exacerbated by the poor job we as humans do in predicting how current events will affect our future happiness.

First, we do a poor job predicting how recent events will make us feel in the future.

Second, we are optimists about our own lot in life but pessimistic about the world in general, despite past experiences that suggest the reverse will be true.

Third, our wish to avoid pain focuses us on dangers, annoyances and slights of our day-to-day lives.

Fourth, we change our yardsticks of success depending on the circumstances.

Quite simply, we long for fulfillment while engaged in a futile pursuit of happiness.

Sliding from self-interest to self-centeredness to self-delusion

One result of losing touch with reality is that we can become far too impressed with our own abilities.

We also overestimate our contributions to others.

Likewise, we are too confident of our objectivity and memories.

Our inward focus makes us captive to our emotions instead of drawing value and strength from them.

                “What goes right in childhood predicts the future far better than what goes wrong,”

We push others away even though we need relationship and intimacy.

Task two: losing yourself in a hero’s journey

A Hero’s Journey requires you to find your most precious gifts and to use them doing something you enjoy in the service of something larger than yourself.

A Hero’s Journey does not promise a life full of happiness. On the contrary, it means facing “dragons and giants,” challenges that stretch you to your limits and sometimes beyond. The lessons are in the journey, lessons learned alongside trusted traveling companions and guides. By the end of the journey, you will see the world differently, and have a deeper understanding of your purpose on the planet and a much stronger connection with the transcendent.

If the latest scientific findings and ancient wisdom literature are correct, finding the Hero’s Journey you were meant to live requires you to lose your preoccupation with yourself. There are at least four ways to do this:

flow: losing yourself in a worthy challenge

                “your mind or body is stretched to the limit in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”

                None of this is surprising. We like challenges, particularly those that play to our strengths. We respond to the positive feedback of early successes, so choosing something you do well will give you the confidence to charge ahead. Honing our talents to pursue goals even makes us feel good.

Love: losing yourself in relationship

                Long-term studies of satisfaction and fulfillment show that relationships are critical to satisfaction and fulfillment. We live in relationship with others and we need to belong. We need others to complete us.

Always have friends from three generations: the generation below to add freshness and energy, your generation for understanding and companionship, and a generation older for perspective and wisdom.

Gratitude: losing yourself in thanks and generosity

Volunteer and Give to Charity

                Giving your time and your money to another human being is one of the most powerful ways to develop your own sense of gratitude.

Practice Being Grateful

Suppress Negative Chatter

Write a Letter or Keep a Journal

Seek Role Models

Spirituality: losing yourself through a connection with the transcendental

                “Religious Americans are clearly less likely to use drugs, commit crimes, divorce and kill themselves.” Religious people are more resilient and more effective at fighting depression. They are less affected by setbacks like divorce, unemployment, illness and death.

Task three: getting started on your quest

How will your traits affect your journey? How should this affect your choice of challenges and travel companions?

When it comes to work, you can choose a job, a career or a calling.

A job is something you do from 9 to 5 to pay the bills, as a way of affording the necessities of life and an occasional pleasure once the workday has ended. People with jobs watch the clock, waiting for 5 PM to arrive.

A career is a climb up a predetermined ladder to success at the top. People with careers work long hours for the promise of money, power and security to come. All too often they arrive only to find that it really is lonely at the top.

A calling is finding that special place where your most precious gifts allow you to do something you love, in service to others, in a way that changes the world. People with callings say: “Thank God it’s Friday so I can work the next two days without interruption.”

Away from your calling, reserve time for your charitable activities, family and friends and you are likely to have loving relationships with people from all walks of life and from several generations. This love will not only support you on your Hero’s Journey, but help change you along the way, and nurture you near the end.

Those who have experienced serious adversity earlier in life may be the luckiest. They seem to have more focus, more clarity and more humility. Research shows the best time to face adversity is in your late teens and twenties. Don’t overprotect your children from the lessons adversity brings.

Hone Character and Practice Virtue

At the end of life, you are likely to ask only three questions: “Did I accomplish something meaningful?” “Who did I love and who loved me?” and “Was I a good person?” A calling and loving relationships are not enough for true fulfillment. You also will need character.

So find your calling. Write your own Hero story. Explore your signature strengths to discover flow experiences that will lead to mastery. Let your mastery attract opportunities in a way that serves others and changes you. “How can I be happy?” is the wrong question. “How can I create something meaningful for others?” is the right question because it helps others and will change you in a profound way.

Attitude on Money by Stephen W. Gibson

Part of the process of becoming adults is deciding if the lenses that we see things through are the correct lenses for us. As we shift through different concepts, principles and facts we decide which we accept. As we do, we become independent thinkers.

For example, President Hinckley needs to think about money.

In the April 1998 conference, when he announced to the Church that by the end of the year 2000 there will be 100 operating temples built and dedicated to the Lord, he had to consider before he made that announcement, where is the money going to come from to build those temples.

When he announced the Perpetual Education Fund in April of 2001, he had to discuss with his advisers where the money was coming from to provide education for those tens of thousands of returned missionaries who live in third world countries. Even he cannot just pray about it and millions come out of the sky. He needs to ask the members of the church to open their pocket books and support this and many other wonderful initiatives.

So from the President of the church, to the husband or wife, who needs a budget to put food on the table, money is a big part of what we must all think about, plan for, and, yes, even work hard to earn the money for our needs.

Elder Bednar said, “the gospel has the power to make bad men good, and good men better.”

However, Money usually does not make bad men good and good men better. Money can make good men better, but on the other hand, from my experience, it usually makes bad men worse.

"After ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good - to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted." Jacob 2:19.

3 Nephi 6: 12 "And the people began to be distinguished by ranks, according to their riches and their chances for learning; yea, some were ignorant because of their poverty, and others did receive great learning because of their riches.

If we acknowledge that all blessings come from God, and if we believe that blessings are based on obedience to laws, as I do, and as the Lord explains here, then we must believe from reading this scripture that the blessing of wealth creation or the abundant life comes from, again, keeping the laws upon which that blessing is predicated.

Brothers and Sisters, I have enjoyed visiting with you today. I hope you do not feel my view of money is not too distorted. I hope you have enjoyed learning more about the important subject of money. It is my hope and prayer that you will all become more self-reliant. That you will take this great chance for learning that you have here and do all that you can with it; that you may in turn help others to help themselves, is my hope and prayer and I offer these thoughts to you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I really enjoyed this talk, I really think it opened my eyes to a new perspective on money, I have worried that I care too much about having money and pursuing it, I do have good intentions and have dreams for using it for good, but I am not as responsible as I should be and this makes me want to try even harder. I want to do what is right in all aspects of life, I can see here that he is talking about cause and effect as much as promised blessings, you reap what you sow principle as well.

What is your attitude toward money?

How can your view of money affect the way you live?

What rules are recommended for prospering?